The Curious Question of Claus-play
by RandomRex6
Summary: Akamatsu believes in Santa. Saihara has his doubts. Well... they do have one definitive way to determine fact from fiction. Non-Despair AU.


Akamatsu liked to believe her relationship with Saihara was a fairly stable one. The two got along very well, found joy in one another's hobbies, and agreed on most topics of debate. But as their first Christmas together quickly approached, she was forced to confront a horrifying realization.

"What do you mean you don't believe in Santa?!" the pianist shouted, far louder than the detective was ready for.

Saihara scratched at the back of his head, nervous about how to proceed. "Well, it's just... we're in High School. Isn't about time we kind of... faced reality?"

"The reality that my boyfriend doesn't have any Christmas spirit? No, no, no! I reject your reality, good sir," Akamatsu protested.

"C'mon, Kaede," Saihara complained, "I love Christmas, and I love the idea of spending it with you even more, I just... the idea that someone can travel around the world in a single night delivering presents? And keep constant surveillance on the entire planet? We go to a school full of Ultimates, and I still don't think that's even remotely possible."

"Okay..." Akamatsu considered this. She wasn't about to let this escalate into anything more than it needed to be. Even in her current state of distress, she was well aware this was a fairly trivial issue. "Well, what if we talk to some Ultimates, and see what they think?"

"Umm..." the black-haired boy muttered. "I guess that's okay..."

"Great! And I know just who to start with!"

* * *

"Of course Santa's real! He's one of the best mages in the world!"

Saihara gripped the bridge of his nose in frustration. "You're asking Yumeno-san?"

"Well, duh. Who else would know about magic like that?" Akamatsu replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Saihara was caught between a rock and a hard place. Asserting that magic wasn't even real was not the answer here, given how Yumeno would respond, and how that would inevitably get back to Tenko, and the world of repercussions that would cause.

"You know, most non-believers I've met got put on the naughty list for one reason or another," Yumeno recalled.

"Hmmm... that doesn't sound right, though... Shuuichi's too sweet for that..." Akamatsu argued.

"Much as I appreciate the compliment, I was hoping we could approach someone a bit more... worldly?" Saihara suggested.

"Okay, like who?"

* * *

"The origins of the figure referred to as Santa Claus are actually quite fascinating."

Shinguuji was certainly a wealth of information, but the trouble was that not much of it was helpful, but he felt the need to share as much of it as possible.

"The character was based on the actual historical figure of Saint Nicholas, though now they are considered two separate individuals. Beyond that, the original St. Nick actually operated during a different holiday known as _Sinterklaas_ , a Dutch corruption of the name Saint Nicholas, which itself was corrupted into Santa Claus," the anthropologist droned on.

"That's great and all," Akamatsu interrupted, "but do _you_ personally believe in Santa?"

"I'm not one to rule anything out, but I find the story of how a good man doing noble acts was elevated into a figure of legend truly inspiring." The long-haired boy shuddered in pleasure. "Humanity is so beautiful, particularly whilst in the holiday spirit..."

"This... was a mistake. I apologize," Saihara put forth.

"No problem," Akamatsu reassured. "We just... need a happy medium."

* * *

"Of course not."

"Obviously!"

It seems that Akamatsu and Saihara were not the only couple having this argument. Momota and Harukawa suddenly found themselves inadvertently forced into their own sort of back and forth.

"How can you not believe in something like that, Harumaki?!" Momota asked incredulously. "I figured if anyone could appreciate an impossible hero, it would be you."

Harukawa gave him a dead-eyed glare. "I've had to play Santa back at the orphanage. You do that enough times, you get the message."

"Uggh..." Akamatsu groaned. "If this keeps up, we'll never get an answer..."

"Why does this matter so much to you?" Saihara asked.

"I just... I dunno..." the pianist bemoaned, "I just remember being really little and always looking forward to when Santa would show up. I'm older now, I know, but... I don't want to throw the magic away..."

Saihara nodded. "I get it. Well..."

"Yeah?" the pianist inquired, wondering where her boyfriend was going next.

"There is one person who might be able to settle this."

As the two headed off to address their final attempt to answer the difficult question, the other couple was left to their own devices.

"So, did you like, have to dress up?" Momota wondered.

"Yes, I do have a Santa dress," Harukawa revealed.

"Go on..."

* * *

The investigative duo was left waiting outside the door of their fellow classmate as their final experiment went into motion.

"I can't believe I didn't think of this," Akamatsu exclaimed, "If Shirogane-san gets cospox while she's dressed as Santa, he's gotta be real."

Saihara rested a calming hand on her shoulder. "I just don't want you to get your hopes up, okay?"

"I know, whatever happens, I won't let it ruin Christmas," Akamatsu reassured him.

"Good to hear."

The door opened, and the two took sharp breaths.

Out stepped Shirogane decked in a fake beard, a bright red suit, black boots, and an absolutely hideous rash.

"Ho ho ho..." she muttered, "can I stop, please?"

"Cospox!" the pianist cheered. "I was right! Woo!"

"Guess so..." Saihara conceded.

"I gotta go tell the others!" As she raced off, she called back to the two she left behind. "Thanks Shirogane-san! See you for Christmas, Shuuichi!"

As the pianist faded into the distance, Saihara turned his attention to the traditionally blue-haired girl before him. "Thanks for doing this."

"No problem," the cosplayer replied, "ever since you and Tsumiki-senpai figured out how cospox works, I've been dying to see if I could really do it on command."

"Seriously though, this made her Christmas, I owe you," the detective commended.

"Hey, 'tis the season of giving," she countered.

"Yeah. Well, I better try to keep her from shouting from the rooftops," Saihara joked.

"Good call."

As the detective ran off after his girlfriend, Shirogane was left alone, removing the beard and hat.

"He doesn't need to know Santa clothes always did that..."

* * *

 **A/N: You ever have one of those ideas that won't leave you alone, and they're time-sensitive, so you have to do it right there and then? That was me and this.**

 **Merry Christmas, everyone.**


End file.
